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The coloratura bent the first note.
Telephone lines sagged like taffy
and slowly felled their poles.
The page misted; she paused
a serpent's blink. Cell towers
sank in bogsand. She trilled
and satellites quit their orbits;
some grew comet plumage.
Her last note thinned to silence.
Hello? Is anybody there?
©2008-2009 ~Torby-ADK
:icontorby-adk:

Author's Comments

.

Daily Deviation

Given 2009-09-29

Earth by ~Torby-ADK questions how we communicate. The assonance and consonance make it a pleasure to hear, even if we don't receive the message. (Featured by ^SparrowSong)

Comments


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:iconottersandsky:
I like this.
Every line was interesting. The imagery is very involving, I pictured the sagging telephone poles (comparing them to taffy is very clever!) and the serpent's blink of a pause-- a great line...
Cell towers sinking in bogsand, another great one.
I like the associations that 'comet plumage' brings to mind as well.

Really good. =]
:icontorby-adk:
Hi there,
Thanks for the visit and your comments. Much appreciated.
:iconejectionletter:
you have an enjoyable style. short, sweet and chock full of meaning.

--
[kmw]

as it was meant to be - bokonon (vonnegut's cat's cradle)
:icontorby-adk:
Thank you for the visit and for taking time to comment. Much appreciated.
:iconnelstone:
Dang. I love the imagery in this piece. Especially the telephone lines. Congrats on the DD!
:iconp1pp1n:
So cool, so clever. I read it a few times and liked it more each time. esp. enjoyed these lines: "She trilled
and satellites quit their orbits;
some grew comet plumage."

fabulous imagery and word play. congrats on the DD!

--
"My soul melteth for heaviness: strengthen thou me according unto thy word."-Psalm 119:28
:iconazmythera:
I love this. For such a small passage, it sure says a lot about phones and how much we depend on them. "Her last note thinned to silence" works so well! Great Job!

--
...Without my pants.
:iconthepardalote:
Wow O_O I love your imagery.

--
"It's a giant...mushroom...MAYBE IT'S FRIENDLY!!!"

Adorable avatar made by ~oOLuccianaOo ^_^
:iconrougethebat1096:
awesome!! congratulations on the DD!

--
I'm that type of girl who has seen every horror movie that ever premiered... Yet I still scream when the toast pops out of the toaster.

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May 27, 2008
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